The Pitfalls of Internet Dating
I've been meeting women through internet dating sites for the past year. I am a 66 year old male who gets carded regularly when I request senior discounts. I've been told I'm good looking; I'm well educated, semi-retired and financially secure.
I've probably met over 40 women and I've really only had two or three "bad dates," meaning I couldn't wait for the evening to end. Most people are nice and mean well.
Although , I have yet to meet The One, I've had a great deal of fun and so should you. The odds are that anyone you meet is not going to be The Stalker From Hell. O.K. -Reasonable caution is warrranted. If you spot a whole array of prison tats, you have my blessing to make a fast, albeit unglamourous exit.
When one passes the half century mark, going on an internet date is really very much akin to a job interview. Chemistry is great, but whether the other person's lifestyle matches yours is the real starting point. The best advice I can give is to read a person's profile carefully and try to spot potential deal breakers before you even ask the other person out or accept an invitation.
For example, my dog absolutely hates cats! (He isn't wild about Gail's Elliot either - but that's another story.) So, anyone who waxes eloquently about her cats is a no-go for me, no matter how appealing the pictures. Smokers are out of my orbit too. If a woman says that she loves her job, that commendable, but it just doesn't fit into my world.
If you post a profile, be honest. Make sure your photos are current. Remember the old cliche "You only get one chance to make a first impression." Describe your body type fairly. This goes for the guys too. Women who are in good shape rarely welcome beer bellies.
If having a prospective partner who shares your religious or political beliefs is important to you, say so. Also, if you are an avid golfer (ugh!) and want a golf buddy, make that clear. The same hold true for tennis.
Don't get involved in the dating scene if you aren't over a past relationship. That fact comes out and I've been disappointed more than just a couple of times when a budding relationship is brought to a screeching halt by that fatal disclosure.
Make sure you have the time necessary to foster a new relationship. Of necessity, to be part of a couple usually means forgoing time previously devoted to friends, family and hobbies.
Once you get to know someone, hold on to your heart for a bit. Do you have compatible drinking habits? Are you a daytime person, while the other is a night owl? Are you comfortable with your potential partner's financial strength relative to your own (and vice versa)? Do you detect mood swings, obsessive behaniour, anger, bitterness towards former partners? Don't ignore red flags waving not so gently in the breeze.
Then there's the whole issue of sexual compatibility...but maybe I should stop while I'm ahead....
To be continued?????
- anonymous in Victoria, British Columbia