Cranky Sex.

I just finished watching Sex and the City, now granted I've seen every episode at least 6 times, but I'm still dumbfounded, because I ask you who has that much sex in any city? Who can afford as many pairs of Manolo Blahniks as Carrie Bradshaw? Who ties men to the headboard as casually as Samantha Jones? Who is as sweet and beautiful as Charlotte York and also gets the Park Avenue apartment in a divorce? Who has a baby, a law partnership and a good guy like Miranda Hobbs? No one. SO WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS COMPLAINING?

Girls, stop whining. I can piss and moan with good reason. I'm 59 years old and have a constant nagging cranky feeling. According to studies about women my age I'm allowed. I'm supposed to feel snippy. The medical journals say I'm irritable for a reason. Huh?

I'm losing estrogen and as a result I'm losing my sex drive. Oh for God's sake who am I kidding I've lost my sex drive. And where the hell do I find a new one? My mind is M.I.A. I leave the car keys with the silverware. I make phone calls and can't remember who I dialed so I hang up. I'm losing skin tone, muscle mass and bone density; I'm almost a cadaver. I'm on the verge of a heart attack, or am I actually having a heart attack and need an ambulance? I'm having hot flashes and wringing out my blouse over the sink at the airport. I'm so tired. Still tired. Tired. I'm dying from hormone replacement therapy; I'm living better from hormone replacement. Hey medical profession which is it? I'm happy one minute, postal the next. It's my height, my hair color, my clothes, my make-up, the man in my life, no man in my life, my diet , lack of exercise, too much exercise, I'm frigid, I'm horny, it's my mother's fault, it's my jeans, it's my genes. OF COURSE I'M CRANKY! Please don't suggest watching Oprah or Dr. Phil.